Celebrate: Going Through It #celebratelu 4/11/15

celebrate link up

Ruth Ayres hosts a weekly celebration on her blog. I appreciate this invitation to reflect on the positives of my week.

My son is really going through it right now. For years, I’ve thought that once there was love and strong attachment, things would be easy. But everything new just uncovers something else old that needs to be worked through. Certain things are easier. But nothing is ever really easy for kids from hard places.

And some things get harder with love. With love comes the possibility of loss. Moms leave. Moms die. He doesn’t believe he could live through more loss. What would I do, he asks me. If you die. I don’t think I could ever do anything again. I couldn’t live. I would just sit in the house. That’s all.

There are few words of comfort that I can offer. Logic and reason can’t touch this particular fear. And besides, he’s right. I am going to die someday.

The relationship that should be a refuge for him is a war zone right now. He is struggling to reconcile how much he loves with how much he fears, and it’s not clear to him right now which is going to win out. I have whiplash just listening to him, so I can’t imagine what it’s like inside his brain.

But I have felt centered and sure all week. Because I know this for sure: we have to leap if we want to live.

This week, I celebrate where my son is. Right on the cusp of leaping.







7 responses to “Celebrate: Going Through It #celebratelu 4/11/15”

  1. carriegelson Avatar

    I have been thinking of you. This is a brave celebration.

  2. Jackie Avatar

    “Everything new just uncovers something else old that needs to be worked through”–this line really struck me. Hoping for comfort and peace for you and your son.

  3. Michele Avatar

    Beautiful picture! Hold the moment close in your heart. Hope plus us through.

  4. Linda Baie Avatar

    I think holding on will help, keep on keeping on. I don’t want to make it sound easy, know it must not be, but taking that step is the only way. Hugs to you & your son, Elisabeth.

  5. Carol Avatar

    You are in my prayers. I love the picture of you and your son.

  6. cvarsalona Avatar

    Elisabeth, life is fragile and uncertain. What we know now may be altered tomorrow so faith is the common denominator that ties lives together. Thank you for your courageous reflection.

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