Bad news
I knew
He didn’t
Dr’s recommendation
Two words
No contact
Concussion risk
It means
No football
He’s done
He hears
Dream destroyed
He hears
Life over
To me
Thin dream
Thinking small
To him
The world
His future
Fame, fortune
Making it
Being somebody
Now quiet
So quiet
Too quiet
No words
For hours
Two hours
Now five
And counting
Thick silence
Tense silence
I brace
For explosion
For running
Fight flight
Old friends
Only silence
No anger
No blame
Only this
His face
Empty. Still.
His eyes
Vacant. Cold.
I wait
I know
This waiting
I know
This silence
I wonder
How long
I remember
One week
Without words
Endless week
I break
Always do
Two words
I’m sorry
Two words
Shut up!
Don’t even!
Go away!
For now
He’s home
Nothing’s broken
Nobody hurt
I wait
I’m silent
I know
This waiting.
It only takes a few words to tell this heartbreak and disappointment for your son and your heartbreak to watch him struggle through this period. So hard.
Excellent piece. Each line packed with emotion. I felt every pair of the pain.
Great poem. I think the 2 word lines really condense it down to the essentials.
I am amazed of all you conveyed, two words at a time.
Powerful writing!!
This poem
two words
pack punch
leave me
in sadness
I sense
your love
his love
this relationship
keeps going
keeps growing
One brain
One concussion
Damage done
Lasts forever
And my words are you showed it in all its terseness, no doubt the deep hurt for his dreams gone, and your hurt for your son, too. What a world we live in when so many young boys want to be an NFL star, and will be disappointed because they didn’t, or couldn’t, make it. Hugs for this time, Elisabeth.
Absolutely powerful. I feel like each slice you write is another layer being peeled away. Your son has come so far with your love.
I really like the build up in this poem and the repeated words:
Now quiet
So quiet
Too quiet
No words
For hours
Two hours
I could only think mother’s heartbeat in all that silence and waiting.
heartbreaking. telling this in 2-word increments helps me to feel it in all its raw pain. powerful stuff here.
Two words at a time and you have told us so much. this is one of my all time favourites from you
I am so, so sorry. This has been my guy, for the last 18 months. My hear breaks for both of them.
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Oh, that’s heartbreaking. I know he’s not ready now, but one day (probably during unschooling?), he can explore careers that still let him be a part of football.
Your poem packs so much in this sparse format. I am impressed by your careful selection of words in order to create a mood and communicate events. So much said with so few words. Beautiful. You have left me both awed and sad.
I am feeling for you and him so much. So heartbreaking. Beautifully written.
I know
this waiting
painful part
of life
too hard
to bear
another day.
Thanks for being the modeler of this form of poetry. Two words pack a punch. I hope all evens out but losing your dream is difficult to understand in the adolescent years.
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